Chapter Thirteen: Being On Psychiatric Meds
I Have an illness of my brain.  But My Illness Has A Cure.  Writing About It Makes Tears Fill My Eyes, So I'll Be Brief.  If It Weren't For My Medications, I would be Dead.  Or Worse than dead- I'd be screaming, hearing voices in a padded room, paranoid beyond reason or understanding.  I'd be dying and screaming.
But Fortunately I take many daily medications.  I am disabled, that is why I cannot work a job.  My career is in writing books and poetry.  I have a brilliant mind, but it has something raging inside of it.
It isn't that i'm illogical...I went to college for seven years after my first hospitalization, and I got good grades.  No, It's Chemical imbalance.  It's Paranoia.  It's Auditory Hallucinations.  Its the inability to control my physical muscles or body and thrashing.  It's talking to myself all night.
But....With my medications, I am alive.  And more, I am well.
Sometimes, tragically, One cannot decide what cards one will be dealt in life...i was dealt a severe mental illness.  It is not my fault.  And it isn't anybody's fault.  It is a disease.  The Fact That I am writing this book is a reason to be happy!  It shows how successful the medications are at keeping me sane.  My Doctors would be proud of me, if they read my work.  Just Because it doesn't sell, means nothing.  I am writing and in my right mind-- and the writing is beautiful!  Writing is truly my passion.  So, That's all I Have to say about being on Psychiatric Meds.  They Keep Me Alive.  It's really sad and we've all cried alot of tears over the years... but we've all kind of accepted my condition.  I have a husband and a great family, and I'm a really kind, loving, creative person!  I spend my life in love and in love is the communion God has Affforded me.  No Money, No Work, Little Responsibility-- Just Getting well and taking my meds that keep me alive.  Because I am Loved.  I am so dearly Loved.  In Jesus' Name, Amen!////